Sordid sex dream affairs exposed

Absolutely disgusting

Can the nation possibly sustain its current levels of outrage?

Within a few short weeks we’ve had Tiger Woods, John Terry, Ashley Cole and Vernon Kaye dominating the front pages of the tabloids with their sexual infidelities.

I don’t know about you but I’m outraged out. There’s nothing left in the locker. Not a squeak.

Try as I might, and lord knows I’ve tried, I can barely muster a show of mild indifference at the continuing saga of celebrity shenanigans.

Even shrugging my shoulders is beyond me now. I’m limiting myself to one shoulder shrug a day. The left shoulder, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays: the right on a Tuesday and Thursday. On Sundays I raise an eyebrow, and if I’m feeling particularly piqued, the occasional dismissive wave, but nothing more.