Premiership footballers’ latest must-have accessory

The latest fashion accessory among footballers seems to be the brass neck.

John Terry’s was  much in evidence as he refused to do the honourable thing and resign as England captain.

It has rather overshadowed the brass neck displayed by fellow Chelsea

Make that two brass necks

defender Ashley Cole who was caught speeding the other day, doing 104mph in a 50mph zone.

His excuse for putting in danger the lives of any people stepping out onto the road as he roared through the streets was he was being chased by a photographer.

What did he think the photographer was going to do? Eat him? Steal his soul?

As defences go it was of the Kettering Town rather than Chelsea variety and magistrates slapped him with a four-month ban and a £1,000 fine. At which point the multi-millionaire donned the brass neck and asked for 21 days to pay!

Sordid sex dream affairs exposed

Absolutely disgusting

Can the nation possibly sustain its current levels of outrage?

Within a few short weeks we’ve had Tiger Woods, John Terry, Ashley Cole and Vernon Kaye dominating the front pages of the tabloids with their sexual infidelities.

I don’t know about you but I’m outraged out. There’s nothing left in the locker. Not a squeak.

Try as I might, and lord knows I’ve tried, I can barely muster a show of mild indifference at the continuing saga of celebrity shenanigans.

Even shrugging my shoulders is beyond me now. I’m limiting myself to one shoulder shrug a day. The left shoulder, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays: the right on a Tuesday and Thursday. On Sundays I raise an eyebrow, and if I’m feeling particularly piqued, the occasional dismissive wave, but nothing more.